“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other interested in you.”
It’s not about you. This statement is straight and to the point but that is what is needed in order to get to the heart of this what today’s quote means. From the time first go to pre school to the time we are trying to climb that social ladder in any line of business we are always trying to get others to like us or try and fit in.
I can still remember heading to college and my Mom encouraging me to make friends, reminding me of all the great qualities I had and to put myself out there and by doing so would help gage greater interest on who I am as a person. I took her advice and tried really hard to put myself out there. She meant well and would have worked if I was five years old again but not as a freshman in college. Apparently… a little too hard as it quickly became obvious to me that this aggressive approach wasn’t me at all. I’m not the type of person to put myself out there the first time to people I do not know. Plus I think I came across to my new roommates as arrogant rather than self-confident. I was way too over the top and acted more like a used car salesman trying to sell them on who I was and why they should show some interest as to who I am. Thank goodness I realized this and quickly put an end to this charade or my social life in college would have stopped before it had a chance to begin.
It was one of those moments I had wished I was Will Smith in the movie “Men in Black” and had his neuralizer so my roommates could forget this first impression of me but I didn’t have one so I had to go to option B. Instead of me trying to self-promote I began asking questions about them, what their interests are and what their story was so to speak. As they began to tell more about themselves, they could see my true interest in what they were saying thus creating a deeper and more open line of communication while building a solid foundation for our friendship to strengthen and flourish. It no longer seemed forced and things began to flow more naturally, When we show genuine interest in others instead of trying to force their interest on us it will open the door for future relationships with others to develop. Put others’ needs first before our own. It’s just that simple.
What does this quote mean to you and how can you apply today’s message towards developing relationship skills in your own life?