“True reconciliation does not consist in merely forgetting the past.”
When we have a certain conflict with another individual the cause of it could be due to a multitude of things but what our focus will be on is: lack of communication (whether something was not communicated clearly enough or one side was not actively listening) and/or there was a disagreement between both sides that may have lead to hurtful things being said. In each case a disconnect has occurred there needs to be a willingness on both sides to restore the relationship to a healthy one: a reconciliation.
I’m quite sure we have all have reconciled with someone whether it be with our spouses, children or colleagues by apologizing for what had been done but as Nelson Mandela states in his quote that reconciliation is not just forgetting the past. I think what he meant was true reconciliation is also building an understanding and compromise on what will be done in an effort to avoid future conflicts. In other words become more proactive rather than reactive. Often times we say our sorry’s and say what we will do better the next time but what happens? Something similar occurs and history repeats itself: in this case we make that same mistake again and pretty soon, if that same conflict continues to happen it can result in a relationship that is beyond repair.
So in an effort to avoid this, when a conflict is reconciled, we need to collaboratively work with one another by creating a certain level of understanding as to what are ways we can effectively communicate and predetermine when to hit the pause button before something is said that shouldn’t be.
Conflicts with others are bound to happen from time to time but if we take the time within our relationships to come to a consensus of how things will be handled when it happens the reconciliation process will take place much faster. Why? Because there will already be a plan in place with the already predetermined intentionality of what both sides would do when this happened who have already been established. Relationships are a powerful thing to have and we can have many more of them if we work hard to focus on the future of relationship and not just on the past.
What does this quote mean to you and how can you apply today’s message towards developing your relationship skills?