“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.
The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled.
A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
This has to be one of the most insightful quotes I have come across in some time. The visual description of what relationships are like is spot on. One part that spoke to me right away is that it mentions the sand is the visual for what relationships are and I believe each grain of sand represent each of the different relationships we have: with our significant other, children, students, colleagues, etc.
Our hand that holds the sand (the various relationships) shows us that we are, in fact, in control of how we handle our relationships. We can either foster and breed life into the relationships we have allowing them to continuously flourish or by trying too hard to control them and squeezing them tightly, we lose many along the way.
Relationships should never be one sided and no one person should dominate it. It needs to be built upon equal ground that allows for open communication between the two parties and when conflict does arise, parameters are already in place on how to effectively deal with the conflict, together. Although the quote does not mention it, relationships need structure but the respect and freedom that it does mention allows for the relationship to be built with a sense of clarity.
I’ve been on both sides of this and through these experiences I’ve learned that in order to have positive and successful relationship its important to let nature take its course and foster the relationship together with that other person, together, not in isolation. Don’t assume you know what is best based on your past experiences with other relationships because each relationship is unique and needs to be treated as such. Realize that relationships require teamwork and like 38 Special says in their one song, “Hold on Loosely.”
What does this quote mean to you and how can you apply today’s message towards developing your relationship skills?