Welcome to the Our Moral Compass Podcast. Each daily reading focuses on a different quote on how we can best apply it to our own moral compass and one of the five areas in Social Emotional Learning: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship Skills and Responsible Decision Making. Thank you for listening and we hope you consider subscribing to the podcast for future episodes.
The Type of Relationship to Avoid
“Avoid toxic relationships, especially those disguised as someone trying to help you but they’re really just trying to control you.”
Toxicity. Just that word alone brings to mind poison that can bring significant harm to someone not only physically but emotionally as well. When you are involved in a relationship that is toxic you are dealing with a relationship that is lacking security, where self centeredness is most likely involved along with a sense of dominance or control on the account of one of that relationship. It is something that often times has the tendency to go undetected until it becomes too late in a relationship. This by no means makes it impossible to get out of this situation but its long term effects on you can be long lasting. Author Damon West reminds us to avoid these kind of relationships as much as possible because often times they can act like a wolf in sheeps’ clothing and before you know it, you are no longer in control of your life, someone else is.
So how can we avoid relationships that are toxic and look for those that will be healthy for us? First we need to look at our relationship and ask ourselves how we feel when we are with them. If they make us feel good about ourselves, encouraging us to be all we can be, and our confidence continues to grow while we are with them then that type of relationship is on a pathway towards being a great one. Now if they are making us feel bad about ourselves, discourage constantly and make us feel stupid or ashamed then this is the start of a toxic relationship.
Another sign that you are in a toxic relationship is if being with them does not bring out your best self and leads you towards engaging in acts of gossip where you talk about others behind their back and do things you wouldn’t normally do and are more out of character. You want to be with someone that brings out your good qualities and really keeps you on the straight and narrow path to being your true and loving self. That is a true friendship and even better relationship.
When you part ways at the end of the day with that other person how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel energized like you can take on the world or do you feel like the life was sucked out of you? I’m sure you’d want the former as opposed to the latter. You also want to avoid those type of people that have the tendency to put you down. Why put yourself through something like that? You are worth more than that and deserve the best. You need the kind of relationships that builds you up and makes you feel like you could take on the world.
If you are mindful of the people you associate with and hold them to certain standards you believe in, then, if they violate any of those standards, you drop them just like that. Never lower yourself to where others are. Relationships are supposed to be give and take on both sides and never one sided. They should be a solid bond built on love, trust and respect. Without these in the fold the relationship is bound to fail.
What does this quote mean to you and how can you apply today’s message towards developing your relationship skills?
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